I’ve just read that Kristy Lee Cook – also known as the talentless doppelganger to Leanne Rimes who pandered to millions of Americans by singing, I kid you not, “God Bless the USA” one week – has an album that debuted at #8 on the Billboard Country charts. This is sad enough news to begin with, but how about the fact that, count 'em: Brooke White (Okay, don’t actually care), Michael Johns (If not for that ascot, I’d care more ), Jason Castro (Care so much!) and Carly Smithson (WHAT?!) are still without record deals. This is mindblowing and absurd.
This tiny bit of Idol information has me jonesin’ for next season, which can’t come soon enough. The 2-part season premiere starts January 13, but that’s going to be more humiliation and annoyance than anything else. It will be weeks before we get to the good stuff (Read: The Top 12). In the meantime, beyond the travesty outlined above, let’s review where we can get our American Idol fix:
- Visiting Ace Young on Broadway.
- Satisfying your Crush on David Archuleta (Album drops today y’all).
- Laughing at Taylor Hicks.
- Supporting Elliott Yamin as he gives the world new Christmas carols.
- Learning that Carrie Underwood is, in fact, not dating Michael Phelps.
- Saving up for Melinda Doolittle’s debut CD, [finally] due in January.
- Re-watching David Cook on SNL from last week.
I’ll keep up the research and let you know of other healthy AI-alternatives to occupy your time over the next few weeks.
And finally, please remember that next year’s AI will bring us a 4th judge! Jessica wagers that she will go before Randy, so as to split up the female quotient (I think my math metaphors need work.). Will she be like Randy - bedazzled and prone to mood swings? Will she be an iridescent incandescent rainbow of love like Paula? Will she try to out-criticize Simon to prove she belongs? We’ll just have to wait and see, but I’m betting she'll be more Nina Garcia than Mary What’s-Her-Face from ‘So You Think You Can Dance’.
What else is there to look forward to next year?