Dorkus maximus

What do these names make you think?

Dwayne
Dwight
Greg
Leon
Earl
Wally
Gilbert
Allen
Glen
Boris

They're all so dorky, it cracks me up that these are professional basketball player names. Even the more obvious ones - Elton or Shaquille, anyone? - would be so embarrassing if you were a "normal" 7th grader. I mean, Dirk? German nationality aside, it's only one letter away from being Dork. (And yes, I do know that I "misspelled" Dwyane.)

My toes are cold.

It's gotten cool enough here over the past week that I've worn close-toed shoes 4 out of 5 days. For the last 2 years, fall/winter close-toed shoes mean one thing:

Except mine are green.

These are some darn comfy shoes, with the added bonus of being slip-ons.

Yesterday, I was on cabin time with the outdoor education group that's here (meaning that I was helping the girls get packed up for their night hike - flashlights, warm clothes, etc.). One of the girls, an 11-year old, says to me, 'Hey! We have the same shoes!" And sure enough, we were wearing the exact same shoes. First I'm a little embarrassed to have a similar wardrobe to a 6th grader. And then she says, "They're my mom's" - and I can't decide if that's worse.

Oh, that's right, I write a blog!

Hello blogosphere, and sincere apologies for a lack of entries. As you likely know, my husband Trevor, and I have recently relocated to the West Coast and begun new jobs as resident staff at a year-round camp and outdoor education center. You can read more about that here. It's exciting, but the transition has been a bit crazy, and blogging has fallen by the wayside (Did I just use that term correctly?). Have no fear! I am re-committing myself to regular entries starting...NOW! First up, movie reviews! I've seen 4 films since 'Julie & Julia' and I know you're just dying to know what I thought about them. So, stay tuned for summaries, insight and maybe just a little bit of snark, about 'Paper Heart,' 'Funny People,' 'Inglourious Basterds' and the home-viewing of 'A History of Violence.'

Anyone watch 'Greek'?

This is my friend Megan:

We have been best friends since age 13, and there are 1,5711 things that I am grateful to her for (The surprise 17th birthday party she threw me, the shirt she lent me to wear at a party when I spilled all over mine, the whole bridesmaid thing, etc.), but these days I am especially appreciative of her because of the show 'Greek,' which she introduced me to last year.

'Greek' is the only show I watch that I am always happy after. (Other post-viewing emotions - 'Gossip Girl': Intrigued. 'American Idol': Outraged. 'Mad Men': Depressed. 'Fringe': Perplexed. 'Lost': Exhilerated. 'The Office': Sad [that it's over for a whole other week. No, really.]) 'Greek' is just always 100% a good time. Its creator is the first to admit that with this show he's not trying to make any big statement or teach anyone anything or be controversial - he just wanted to make a show about college kids having fun, and it's the greatest hour of lighthearted entertainment around (especially now that the CW stu-stu-stupidly canceled 'Privileged,' a show 2000% better than the new '90210,' and - I can pretty much guarantee - the upcoming new 'Melrose Place.')

Anyway. The only reason I am babbling on about 'Greek' today is because of this girl, Johanna Braddy:

She joined the show this season (just like the high-brow HBO shows, 'Greek' does 12-episode mini-seasons, so you get to still be watching, while everything else is on hiatus!), and I can't quite decide how I feel about her. But however I feel about her is the exact same way that I feel about Mrs. American Idol, because, seriously - How much do she and Kris Allen's wife look alike??

At the Western Conference Finals, Game 2

Guys, like I was saying:


Jack Nicholson & George Karl are best friends for life. (No, I don't know why I find these shots so amusing.)

At the Western Conference Finals, Game 1

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship:

Worlds collide.

There was some messy basketball played last night. I'm not worried about the Lakers. They beat the Rockets in all 4 of their regular season meetings; no way will they lose to them 4 times in the playoffs. I am, however, worried about the Celtics. How do they expect to win with the Temp as their point guard?

Seriously, how did I never notice before how much Rajon Rondo looks like Ryan "The Temp" Howard from 'The Office'? It's especially apparent in interviews - the way they both always seem a little bit worried with those puppy dog eyes, but also a better-than-you attitude? It's almost distracting.

(Dear Google Images: No, when searching for "Rajon Rondo," I did not actually mean to search for "Rajon Rondo girlfriend." I'm good, thanks. Love, Ashley)

Maybe I'm just watching too much TV & basketball. But doesn't JJ Reddick also look weirdly like Penn Badgley from 'Gossip Girl'? (Possibly because Dan Humphrey is constantly making this raised-eyebrow face):

And, finally: Thanks to the Google Ad placed on Rajon Rondo's YouTube channel, I just made the terrifying discovery that you can get NBA-branded Crocs:

Note to everyone, everywhere: I do not want these.

Two things about three things

On my commute this morning, in between waking up with ‘Newsies’ stuck in my head and spilling coffee all over my desk, I was reading Entertainment Weekly’s Summer Movie Preview. I know what you’re thinking: Ashley, you did your own version of that a couple weeks back – you don’t need professional journalists! That’s sweet. But I stumbled upon an interesting tidbit.

Alexis Bledel, better known as Rory Gilmore, has two new movies coming out.

One, ‘The Good Guy,’ is about Bledel’s boyfriend, a Wall Street guy, who takes a newbie under his wing and then watches his life spiral out of control. It debuted last weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival and appears to co-star Anna Chlumsky, from ‘My Girl’.

The second, ‘Post Grad,’ welcomes Michael Keaton back to the world, and is about that all-too-familiar quarterlife crisis. It comes out in August. (Jessica, should we make our plans now?)

Notice anything?

#1: A lot of sitting is going on in these movies.
#2: Her co-stars in both these movies play[ed] the quarterbacks that ‘Friday Night Lights’ centers around. Strange, no?

(At first, I thought Tyra was Tammy in this photo, and couldn’t figure out why she was so close to Smash. Where is Tammy? Also – what are they all looking at?)

If you’re interested, here’s the full trailer for ‘Post Grad’ – it appears to essentially pick up from where we left Rory Gilmore, as her character attempts to navigate post-college life. (I just remembered that Matt Czuchry, who played Rory's college boyfriend Logan on 'Gilmore Girls,' had a guest-starring arc on ‘Friday Night Lights’. Stop the madness!)



Two other things I have learned from the Summer Movie Preview:

• The new gritty dramas are all about 2 powerhouse actors who barely appear together onscreen (Seen most recently with ‘American Gangster’, followed up this summer with the Johnny Depp/Christian Bale ‘Public Enemies’ and the John Travolta/Denzel Washington ‘Taking of Pelham 123').
• Joseph-Gordon Levitt & Channing Tatum must be best friends: They starred in the not-really-underrated ‘Stop-Loss’ last summer together (Also known as: the film that broke up Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon), and now in the upcoming ‘GI Joe.’ They also apparently model in Esquire together.

I've been ruined

Typically, I don't "do" scary movies. Last summer I made an exception and went to see 'The Ruins,' because I'd read the book and felt prepared. There's a reason I typically avoid teen horror flicks - the movie was awful. But even worse than the serious creative liberties it took with the book's plot, it also gave me audio-visual context around some - for lack of a better term - pretty scary sh*t.

The book's about a group of friends who go to find a missing friend-of-a-friend at some off-the-beaten path ruins in the Mexican jungle. They wind up trapped there, because the ruins are controlled by and covered with an evil plant. Yes, it's ridiculous. But, see, the plant is smart, and it plays mind tricks with its new inhabitants. Like, imitating their voices so they fight and break down, or mimicking the sound of a cell phone to lure them down a well. And that really doesn't end well - please reference semi-painful movie clip here.

Why am I bringing this up now? Because the plants also imitate birds - I can't quite remember for what reason - and as I walked to the bus stop this morning, noting how spring is really here, with the sun shining, trees blooming and flip flops everywhere, I realized that I no longer get any pleasure from the sound of birds chirping.

Let’s make sweet music

Today is supposed to get up to 70 degrees. This, combined with the marathon on Monday and the realization that May is just 2 weeks away, it feels like the good weather might be here to stay, and that means I need some new music.

Come again?

Last year at this time, I discovered that I could circumvent the shuttle I typically rode to work, with its pesky limiting schedule, by walking from the train station to my office in the mornings, and back every evening. I was winding down my tenure at my old job at the time and had a lot going on, but I was committed to not being stressed out – creating my own schedule was key. It was 2.5 miles each way and would take about 35 minutes, and that me-time in the sun was a real gift. With decent weather here again, it's time to get back to that.

Mornings were great for NPR podcasts. Starting your day with some news and insight can wake you up even better than coffee. But the afternoon walks were all about the music. Last year’s steady rotation of Limbeck and the Raconteurs served me very well, but, it’s a new year, it’s a new walk, and I need some new music. Take a listen to some of my favorite songs by the bands that provided last year’s soundtrack, and send your recommendations my way. (Click on the blue Play button to listen from here, or follow the links to iLike for videos, etc.)

• Honk + Wave by Limbeck
• People Don't Change by Limbeck
• Albatross + Ivy by Limbeck
• Sin City by Limbeck
• Salute Your Solution by The Raconteurs
• Many Shades of Black by The Raconteurs

What's my age again?

Courtesy of EW.com: Average Age of Main Cast Members Playing High Schoolers in These Shows' First Seasons:

Saved by the Bell: 14.8

Freaks and Geeks: 18.6

My So-Called Life: 18.7

Dawson's Creek: 18.8

Beverly Hills, 90210: 21.5

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 23.0

Friday Night Lights: 24.1

Does not compute.

Have you seen ads for that new NBC show “Southland”? I think it’s taking over ER’s old timeslot (For those living in a cave for the last 15 years, Trevor, that would be Thursday at 10PM). It’s available for free download on iTunes this week, and free TV shows from iTunes are perfect for the gym, so I checked it out this afternoon.

It was…meh. (I love Regina King, so I might be convinced to try it out a couple more times, but in general it was a little too procedural for me –crime shown. suspects investigated, decoy villain, mystery solved). But there was something to love.

The pilot revolved around a rookie cop’s first day on the job in the LAPD. The rookie cop has some friction with the cops around him because apparently he’s some big wig rich lawyer’s son. This rookie cop is played by none other than Benjamin McKenzie, also known as Ryan Atwood, the non-Seth Cohen character from 'The OC.' You know, the one from the wrong side of the tracks.

Behold: The same face, two very different reactions:

"Chino? Ew!"

"Your face has 90210 written all over it."

How is my mind supposed to process such mixed signals??

Oh the places our minds go.

Last night, as we discussed the Lance Armstrong news, Trevor said, “I hate Lance Armstrong for the same reason I hate Tiger Woods. They’re both the only people anyone cares about in that sport.” I disagreed – why would you play Tiger like that? – and said that I could name at least 7 other golfers (I said that I couldn’t name a single other cyclist, but that’s a lie – I just like to not think about Floyd Landis and the shame he brought upon New England.). Trevor said: ‘So, name 7 golfers.’

Now, I know he didn’t mean to insult/challenge me, but I was on the instant defensive. The only name I could think of was Vijay Singh. My grandfather would have been so disappointed! Then I started panicking. ‘Ashley. Focus. If you can’t name 7 golfers, think about another sport you don’t care about. Name 7 quarterbacks. You can do this.’ My mind was a total blank – complete white out. ‘Name 7 pitchers, anything!’ This is when I realized I just do not respond well under “pressure” and/or to direct questions. While feeling attacked, I could not even recite the names of 7 Major League Baseball pitchers to myself.

I eventually let it go and went to sleep, but this morning on the bus I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I whipped out my iPod and made the following note:

1. Sergio Garcia
2. Vijay Singh
3. Fred Couples
4. Davis Love III
5. Phil Mickelson
6. Michelle Wie
7. Lorena Ochoa

So there! Yes, I may have slightly blurred the line by diving into the LPGA, but as far as I’m concerned, I have fully redeemed myself. I can even think of 7 quarterbacks, without even needing to curse Brett Favre for retiring: Tom Brady, Ben Rothlisberger, Carson Palmer, Kurt Warner, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning and Jay Cutler. PHEW.

Who's lamer, Coulier or Saget?

I have no idea how this has not yet been a blog post. It’s a debate that has raged (around my condo) for years. Who is more pathetic – Dave Coulier or Bob Saget?

Now, if you’re anything like the people I’ve had this discussion with before (Or, equally likely, if you ARE the people I’ve had this discussion with before), I know what you’re thinking: “Dave Coulier? I haven’t thought about him in years. That makes him LAME.”

Allow me to present a counter-argument: Dave Coulier has embraced the fact that he’s a has-been. Please see Skating with the Stars, Season 1:

Comparatively, Bob Saget has been trying for years to prove that he’s not Danny Tanner. If I have to listen to one more person “reveal” that Bob Saget’s stand up comedy is actually pretty raunchy, I think I will barf. He’s overcompensating, and it’s so pathetically obvious. Yes, that’s right. I am saying that a guest spot on ‘Entourage’ does not a cool Bob Saget make. Also, I find it creepy how it's pretty clear he would like to be dating the Olsen twins:

Look at that face. Ugh.

And finally, let’s not forget to be grateful for the following:

What catch phrase did Danny Tanner ever give us?

He's got my back.

When I was growing up, my family had the Best Dog in the World. Murphy, a cocker spaniel who slept in my bed every night, sure had some quirks – he was impossible to walk, had no idea how to play with a tennis ball, and howled when left alone – but what lovable family pet doesn’t? He brought out the quirky in me too – until I was too old to admit, I would insist that Murphy was my future husband. But of all the things I’m grateful to Murphy for, perhaps the most unexpected is this week’s resolution of a long-standing joke argument between Trevor and I.

You see, unless I’m having the best hair day ever, when I return home after work, along with my contacts being removed, and, most of the time, pajama pants being put on (yes, at 6:30PM), I put my hair up like this:

Despite the fact that Trevor & I have lived together for 4 years, meaning it's happened approximately 832 times, this action consistently garners the same reaction from him: Eyeroll + “Yuuuuup, there it goes.” Typically, I respond with a loving remark along the lines of “Shut up! You have no idea how hard it is having this much hair!”

But this week, I received the She’s-Always-Done-This-Let-It-Go backup I’ve needed, from the always loyal Murphy (By “received” I mean “noticed,” being as this photo has sat on my dresser for the last 3 years):

I realize the quality of the photo makes it look like 1967, but this is actually photographic proof from approximately 1997. Or, as I like to call it: Vindication!

Weeks have passed.

A few weeks back, I participated in a Spin-a-Thon. Perhaps you saw my extensive blog about the subject. Well, I just attended a company-wide meeting that involved me sitting on a window sill, and, about 10 minutes into sitting on that very not-pleasant surface, I realized that, yes, in fact, my butt still hurts.

Here endeth the TMI portion of the blog.

Don't make me come over there.

As anyone who’s taken public transportation knows, normal etiquette rules go out the window when you're crammed on the bus or subway with 50 others. (Under regular circumstances, it’s always best to keep your head out of someone’s armpit, and, really there’s no reason to ever have your leg touching someone you don’t know.) There are, however, some basic rules that too often get ignored, and can result in pointed scowls, passive aggressive elbows, and loud 'Dude, are you KIDDING?' exclamations. Want to avoid these? Let me share some Public Transportation Best Practices:

• Greet your driver. This isn’t always possible, but if it is, a simple smile and hello goes along way. You'll be surprised by how often, and how pleasantly, they'll say it back, and your whole ride will be better.
  
• Move to the back. When only the front doors of a subway car or bus opens, people tend to congregate in the front. There is more space in the back. And – guess what – there are exit doors back there too! Go!
• Act your age. This means that if you are 20 years old and healthy, your seat belongs to someone else. Do not stare at the ground, pretend to be engrossed in a book, or feign sleeping while someone with a cane, limp, guide dog or gray hair tries to hold onto the pole and remain upright. Seriously. Come on,. dude.
  
• Don’t stand in front of a door. I know it looks like the perfect place to stand, what with all that space and all, but you’re just creating a hazard. If you must stand there (and I’m a realistic person, I know there’s no choice a lot of the time) – MOVE to let people exit. Do not just stand there, with 3 inches of space in front of you and a blank look on your face as people try to get out.
• No, really. Move away from the door. This is especially important on the bus. Bus doors open IN when they open. You should ONLY choose to stand here if there is no one else there, because those doors that open in? They force anyone standing in that area to step forward out of there way. When there are two people sharing that space, all exit pathways are effectively eliminated. If you’re standing there, you’re going to get karate chopped in the arm, either by the mechanical doors, or by the angry exiting people. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to deserve it.
• Seats are made for people, not your laptop bag (or your gym bag or your extra purse).
• Stay put. You know how when you’re crammed in next to someone on a seat during a crowded part of the route, and then a dozen people get off, and there’s an open set of seats across from you? Don’t switch seats. You might think you’re doing everyone a favor. You’re not, you are being rude. You may not have realized it, but you entered into a relationship when you selected the seat you did – Regardless of better opportunities, you are committed to sitting next to that person until death do you part. Or, until one of your stops, whichever comes first.
• You are what you own. At least on public transportation. Everything attached to your body is your responsibility to keep under control on the subway or bus. Don’t just pretend like your backpack isn’t sticking 12 inches out, right into someone’s face.
  

My last point isn’t so much a best practice, so let’s just go ahead and un-bullet this.

Let’s get another thing straight. The subway is not “better” than the bus. The bus is not scary and it’s not sketchy. It is convenient, and allows you access to places beyond the regimented world of rails. You can almost always get a seat on the bus. Not to mention the fact that the bus is cheaper than the subway and runs on an actual schedule. And if you’re still not convinced, think about it this way: The bus can take you to malls unreachable by subway (Did someone say Forever 21 in Watertown?). Don’t tell you you’re scared of the bus, or that you don’t “do” it. I hate that.

Whether or not you're a public transportation frequenter, I'm sure you have your own opinions on these matters. Feel free to chime in - advice on how to avoid any passive aggressive body part jab is always appreciated.

Hey, wha' happened?

Yesterday, Trevor & I took a walk to go to brunch, ran some errands, and then spent an hour on the roofdeck - enjoying an afternoon beer and playing Scrabble. This is because it was a delightful, sunny and clear 65 degree day.

Today, it is snowing.

Despite my admonitions to myself to not get sucked in, I fell for it. It's as if I finally agreed to go on a date with that ex who I thought had changed...and then the next day I find out he has a girlfriend.

No spoilers here.

How much makeup do you think was necessary to make Evangeline Lilly look this makeup-free?

Would you look at that - a whole (albeit short) post about 'Lost' with absolutely no spoilers!

Random

Here are just a few random factoids I've picked up over the last few weeks:

• Robert Downey Jr. and Sarah Jessica Parker dated for 7 years in the 80s.
• Seal’s scars are from lupus.
• Patrick Swayze and his wife have been married since 1975. They met when she was 15 and he was 19, and she was a student at his mom’s dance studio.
• Barack Obama became the only president ever sworn in by a Chief Justice whose appointment he opposed.

Isn't that interesting, Morris? (You should look up interesting in the dictionary, Dad.) Sorry, sometimes 'Camp Nowhere' quotes just come out. I'm working on it.