Identify yourself.

As a child, I had a really hard time keeping Charlie Sheen and Tom Cruise straight. This was likely because I couldn't tell the difference between 'Top Gun' and 'Hot Shots'. I also could not tell the difference between Kurt Russell and Patrick Swayze. This is because ‘Dirty Dancing’ and ‘Overboard’ are two of the most important films ever made. And by "important," I mean, "constantly airing on television."

Anyway. I’ve got those ones down now, but as became apparent this weekend, there are some new inheritors of this confusion.

First:


'Harry Potter,' 'The English Patient' and 'The Constant Gardner' – beyond these, I honestly cannot name a movie that Ralph Fiennes is in. The thought process goes something like this: “'Schindler's List!' Wait, no… 'Michael Collins?' I’m really not sure. Wait, 'Love Actually,' right? 'Kinsey!' UGH!”

Secondly: I officially owe Liev Scrieber an apology. While trying to describe him this weekend, I called him ‘The guy from ‘Brothers and Sisters’ who is cheating on his wife with Sienna Miller.’ Nope, that would be this guy, Balthazar Getty:

I had no idea I had this mental block – or that I even knew Balthazar Getty’s name.

Liev Schrieber is, of course, the maybe-killer, eventual-victim from the Scream trilogy, as well as Naomi Watts’ baby daddy. Also, apparently, his name is pronounced “Lau,” like rhymes with “bow.” So there you go.