Things that make me die inside

Check out the banner at the top of this Entertainment Weekly TV Watch:


First, I was enraged. I don't need to see some barely dressed women as I get my American Idol rundown - and I certainly won't be convinced to listen to their "band." Then, I thought – “Oh, this is just a fake band for some new Victoria’s Secret campaign. Okay. Lame, but okay.” And then I clicked, and now I’m back at enraged.

This is a real band that Vanity Fair (the bra company, not the magazine) scoured the country for. The main criteria: Women “confident enough to perform in their bras.”

Listen. I get that when you’re struggling to make it as a professional musician, you take your breaks where you can get ‘em. But this is just too much. Music as a boy’s club? This’ll show them! Nice step forward for feminism y’all. Way to take back the music industry from lip synching, scantily clad “ladies” with no instrument proficiency.

Here’s a snip from the website: “I love being a Vassarette, because I get to sing and dance in front of a ton of people.” Wow, really? That’s what you’re looking for – attention? There’s a surprise. What’s also awesome is that in each of these girls’ bios, it says at what age they got their first bra, and it compares their "biggest inspiration" to their favorite bra type: “My biggest inspiration? That’s easy. My mom. She’s the strongest, most beautiful woman I know. She taught me women can love their bodies and be sexy at ANY bra size. Wearing my RedSexy Double Delight bra on stage makes me understand that more than ever.” I cannot make this s*** up. Not only is this ridiculous, it's also incredibly lame marketing.

I’m sure there’s some way I can blame this on Fox/American Idol/Bikini Girl, but I just don’t have the energy to get into it this morning. I can't decide which part of me is more angry - the marketer, the music fan, or the woman.